[Classic Forum Post] My Boyfriend Was Secretly Doing This – Need Some Comfort
As the title says, I came home early from work today and found something unexpected.
When I got home, the bedroom door was closed, which seemed odd. I quietly walked over and opened it – only to see my boyfriend secretly watching adult videos in bed while using a masturbation cup!
We live together and usually have sex once or twice a week. Is that too little? Am I not satisfying him? My heart hurts so much. Why does he still need to do it alone when he has me? Am I really not good enough?
#1
Same question here. I've caught my girlfriend masturbating before... the psychological shadow is huge.
Image source: Wiki
Does this post look very familiar? Like a monthly visitor, these kinds of threads pop up regularly in relationship forums, instantly attracting crowds shouting “just break up” – as if every couple should split and join the single life. But is solo masturbation really that unforgivable when you're in a relationship?
Men's Eternal Lover: The Right Hand
For many men, the right hand is the longest-lasting “partner” in their life. Before experiencing real intimacy, the most convenient way to release sexual tension is often self-pleasure. According to popular myths, men think about sex every seven seconds – whether true or not, when they just want quick relief without the full commitment, masturbation is a fast, private, and effective option.
Image source: Freepik
Compared to partnered sex, which requires mutual desire, timing, and emotional connection, masturbation is simple and direct. No need to worry about performance, periods, or pleasing someone else. Scientific studies show that regular masturbation can offer health benefits for men, such as stress reduction, better sleep, improved mood through endorphin release, and even a potential lower risk of prostate issues.
Or perhaps waiting for an enthusiastic helper. Image source: Wecap
Related Reading: 7 Major Benefits of Male Masturbation | Can It Boost Immunity?
Secret Self-Pleasure: Women Who Masturbate
For women, masturbation is often a private form of “me time” – a secret way to focus purely on personal pleasure without pressure. It doesn't require considering a partner's needs or faking responses. Solo play allows full control over pace and intensity, leading to relaxation and satisfaction on your own terms.
Image source: Freepik
Partnered sex can involve a lot of preparation for women: styling hair and makeup, choosing sexy outfits, grooming, and sometimes performing enthusiasm even when not fully in the mood. Masturbation skips all that. Research shows female masturbation offers benefits like reduced menstrual cramps, better orgasm achievement in partnered sex, stress relief, and improved body awareness.
Related Reading: Sign to female orgsam
Related Reading: 6 Tips for Female Masturbation – Stop Relying Only on Hands
The Big Debate: Solo Masturbation vs. Partnered Sex
So, is masturbation better than sex with a partner? Not necessarily. While self-pleasure is convenient and pressure-free, it can't fully replace the emotional intimacy, touch, and connection of partnered sex. The good news? They aren't mutually exclusive. Many healthy couples enjoy both – masturbation complements a satisfying sex life rather than replacing it.
Image source: Screenshot from “Nine Grade Sesame Official”
Written by: Alice Four Hairs
The content of this article represents the author's personal opinion only and does not represent the position of this site.
Frequently Asked Questions About Masturbation in Relationships
Is masturbation normal when you're in a relationship?
Yes, absolutely. Studies and experts confirm that most people – both men and women – continue to masturbate even in happy, sexually active relationships. It's a natural way to explore your body and release tension independently.
Does masturbating mean my partner is not satisfied with me?
No. Masturbation is often separate from partnered sex. It can happen due to differing libidos, quick stress relief, or personal exploration. It doesn't reflect dissatisfaction with you.
What are the health benefits of masturbation for men?
Regular masturbation can reduce stress, improve sleep, boost mood, and potentially lower prostate cancer risk by flushing out toxins.
What are the health benefits of masturbation for women?
It relieves menstrual cramps, increases likelihood of orgasms during partnered sex, reduces stress, and helps understand personal pleasure points.
Should couples talk about masturbation?
Open communication strengthens relationships. Discussing solo habits can reduce insecurities and even enhance mutual intimacy.
Can masturbation improve our sex life as a couple?
Yes – knowing what feels good alone helps guide partners, leading to better shared experiences.
